Going through all this has given me a time to look back.  As I read some of my Heart Talks from before one really struck me because as this all started I took a time to remember how good God had been.  I will share this with you.

Looking back

As I look back over my life with Christ

I am given strength for the journey to come

I see terrible brokenness and suffering

I experienced brokenness and suffering

Yet God has taken me back to those times

And I see God watching, working and loving

In the midst of beating and so much worse

God was there before I even knew He was

Even when I wondered where He was

I have seen death in so many ways

I have looked into eyes of dying souls

Their pull still haunts and pains me

I see people as they shouldn’t be seen

I want to look away but I cannot do so

And then everything changes for me

I see God touching even such as me

Reaching into my brokenness and despair

I see that I was in pieces like my ghosts

Not really afraid of death but of life

Into a broken little boy God came

As I saw God dark became Light

God brought Life overcoming death

My eyes were changed not the world

Where before I saw only fear and evil

I now could see the Glory of God

I saw a Japanese man accept You Love

Even at the cost of his family so dear

Then his family joined him in faith

I saw a prisoner tall, big and strong

Cry like a baby needing, finding You

I saw my life become more living

As Bonnie and I saw You in each other

Children that could not be for me

I saw You bring to us blessings three

You showed me before in a dream

Sitting at a table with those three

And the joy as it all came to be

I saw abused souls set free to love

Knowing they were loved by You

I saw families destroyed by drugs

Healed to live in love once more

I saw Your Light in others eyes

Knowing the adventure to begin

I have seen rapists weep forgiven

I have seen murderers come to life

I have, o blessed sight My Love

I have seen Your glorious children

Walk in Your humbleness unseen

The world misses the wonder

But I have seen Your glory shine

As I walked with them in time

Gramps who saw Your face daily

Ken Perkins who believed at cost

Bonnie who held on to me through

And so many others who shine You

They walk in glory though feel less

They do not see the glory they shine

But my eyes have seen and rejoiced

To see Your Church alive and well

Men who wept discovering You

Women who silently spoke You

Children who walk daily with You

And those who give all for You

I have seen the prisoner bearing

Tears of murder inked on their face

Tears running overcome by grace

Seen Murders alarmed by grace

Anger and wonder on their face

Men and women free in locked space

I have seen brokenness You healed

Death You have turned into life

I saw people around a table plans

And from that came Your 5@5

From that children in Haiti learn

Children here hear of Your love

And Pilipino kids are not sold

Because they belong to You

I have seen lives freed from hell

Drugs and alcohol enslaved them

Stealing their soul a gift from You

Receiving it back to live life in You

I see around the world Your glory

As Your children bow in Your Light

As darkness cuts off their heads

But they remain the Body of Christ

Now they are alive to die no more

Their Light from You shines forth

Though I face a mind wracked

A body weary worn from pain

A daily struggle with the stain

I will see Your glory shining bright

And remain rejoicing in the sight

I will remain Your human being                                 2/5/2017