June 10, 2017 Saturday

            I woke at about 5AM and found my way around our new home.  So much has changed.  Went by First yesterday and it was so hard being there as so much in me and so much else has changed.  Changes happen so fast that\it is hard to keep track of them nevertheless deal with them.

            We are all so tired and hurt in so many ways and places.  God is the only thing that has remained the same and we realize that we have always been so dependent upon Him.

            I remember preaching about what I call God’s CPR when God breathed life into us at creation as a reminder that every breath shows our dependence on God breath by breath!  We see that so clearly now as all of our facades of our own abilities are being stripped away one by one.

            It is hard for others to understand what we are going through, even our family.  Bonnie and Rebecca have had to sit and watch everything they know stripped away one thing at a time, have had to deal with doctors who at times not only weren’t helpful but seemed to try to impede us, watch as the disability which I paid into for more than 30 years delay, see all the other things happening in the family and watch each day and each moment as I slid farther away.  They watched as I lost my mind and then as I lost my body and saw the struggle as I tried to hold it all together with just my battered soul.  May God bless them for their faithfulness and for their love in the face of so much.

            When Bonnie and Rebecca went back to parsonage to finish up our brown van broke down.  We are in Your hands My Love.