May 24, 2017

Looking back

            Bonnie works so hard to get all the records in for my disability.  I no longer can deal with all the calls because at times I can’t even remember what we talked about.  We are trying to keep a record of all that has happened so Bonnie must be the one that calls.  This is such a burden for her because she also has to deal with the doctors about my current health and with the bills from past doctors visits.

            It seems Blue Cross is paying less and less and we are paying more and more.  At a time when little is coming in more and more is going out.  So much is not covered or only partly covered.  So much that is covered does not count toward deductible.

            The stress and pain I see on Bonnie and Rebecca’s face saddens me even as it makes me proud of them for their goodness and faithfulness.

Tuesday May 23

            Day begins well.  Rested well and am able to write this, work on sermon, get through prayer time, do my Bible reading and even spend some time on the porch.  Bonnie worked hard to find me a chair for out there.  I could not get up from the other chairs out there.  Need a sturdy, comfortable chair with arms so I can push up to be able to get up from.

            In Bible reading read Jonah and Habakkuk which are some of my favorites because God has used them so often to teach me so much.  I see such a depth of prayer and from them learned to talk with God in such an intimate way.  That has enabled me to deal with all of this.

            Later the pain returned including the new jabbing pain in the side.  The pain grows and claims more and more of my mind and my time.

            Tomorrow I will have the Lumbar Puncture Test early in the morning.  Once again a new hole when the ones from my skin biopsy still have not healed after about six weeks.  But as I have joked about I will remain compliant and do everything that has a hope of healing.

            In my time of prayer My Love tells me that it will get much worse and then it will get very good.  All of my life God has been faithful!  I will rest in You My Love!