March 30, 2018 Good Friday

“« To the Chief Musician. Set to “The Deer of the Dawn.” A Psalm of David. » My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why are You so far from helping Me, And from the words of My groaning? O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; And in the night season, and am not silent. But You are holy, Enthroned in the praises of Israel. Our fathers trusted in You; They trusted, and You delivered them. They cried to You, and were delivered; They trusted in You, and were not ashamed. But I am a worm, and no man; A reproach of men, and despised by the people. All those who see Me ridicule Me; They shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying, “He trusted in the LORD, let Him rescue Him; Let Him deliver Him, since He delights in Him!”” (Psalm 22:1-8 NKJV)

            Some have asked, “What is so good about Good Friday?” One of the amazing things about Christianity is at its core it sees the horrendous suffering of Jesus as redemptive.  And through the suffering of Jesus we can know that every form of suffering can be redemptive.

            Like the title of the book Pain, the Gift Nobody Wants suffering has come to be seen as abnormal and unnecessary but in a world broken by sin suffering is a regular part of our lives.  For many suffering is the very thing that causes us to cry out to God.

            The first words of Psalm 22 teach us of the connection of the suffering of David to the suffering of Jesus!  Here God explicitly connects all suffering and reveals that suffering can and does have meaning and can even be a gift that can call us back to God!

            In the rest of this passage suffering reminds him of God’s redemptive power in the past and the help when trouble and suffering comes.  But then we are shown the real problem with pain in that David looks within and the self pity begins.  The trouble with pity is that is focuses us on ourselves rather than looking to God.

            God teaches us about the universality of suffering by showing us the only true description of the suffering of the New Testament crucifixion of Jesus in the Old Testament.  Verses 1 and 8 are quotes that amazingly are a preview of Good Friday.

            We can discover that the reason this is called Good Friday is that the suffering of Jesus is good to us in that our suffering calls us to God, the suffering of Jesus redeems us and the suffering of the who gave the Son He loves to bring us back to Good that comes from suffering.

            The amazing thing is we cannot truly believe in Psalm 23 about the Shepherd until we see that the Shepherd was willing to lay down His life for us!

            What does Good Friday mean to you?  What does it tell you about God?  What does Good Friday teach you about your suffering?

            All of the pain, suffering and loss I am going through pale in comparison to what My Lord and Love went through.  Jesus bore not only my sin and suffering but the sin and suffering of everyone.  Can you imagine not only what Jesus went through but what God goes through seeing all the terrible and horrific happenings throughout history?  Thinking about that pain God feels gave me the idea of trying to make God smile. 

March 29, 2018 Maundy Thursday

“There was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You are a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered and said to him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. “That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.” (John 3:1-6 NKJV)

            Jesus never seems to respond in the way we expect in the many conversations with Him we see in the Bible.  Often Jesus answers a question with another question which at times seems frustrating to people.  After Nicodemus offers a compliment Jesus responds with a theological statement.

            Nicodemus is thrown off by this and struggles to react to this statement.  This statement is not just some small idea but is a foundational teaching of how God works in a human beings life.  Nicodemus, like many of us, tries to fit a spiritual truth into a physical understanding.  It does not work.

            Jesus casts aside the idea of a physical birth and goes on to explain not only that this is a spiritual birth but how that works.  But before explaining being born again Jesus once again declares that we each do need to be born again.

            A human birth is by water and blood but in this spiritual birth we are born of water and the Spirit.  As we trust in Jesus by faith we become a new person (creation, creature) which is affirmed by water through baptism.  Then the Holy Spirit begins to work in our lives and guides us to a new way of living out this new life.

            Our flesh is corrupted by sin and we are unable to reach out to God even if we wanted to.  Through baptism we are cleansed to come into fellowship with God and by the Holy Spirit we can live a life that allows us to remain there!

            Have you been born again?  Have you lived a different life after your baptism?  Are you allowing the Holy Spirit help you grow up in the faith?

Rev Tom and Ann Underwood came by for a visit.  It was so good to see them and that they were willing to come.  They are not in the best of health and it means even more that they come.  I am not able to go to the Maundy-Thursday service at Asbury.  I tried to rest some but still cannot.  But Bonnie and I had our devotional and I have had a good time of prayer as well as reading from the book of Judges.

Mark 28, 2018 Wednesday

“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:5-11 NKJV)

            In this passage and in John 17 we get a chance to see the heart of God.  These passages allow us to not only experience the heart of God but this revelation shows us God’s plan for humanity.

            As you read this passage list the words that are descriptive of Jesus and take time to define each word.  With these words try to put together a picture of who Jesus is and also who the Father is. 

            How does this picture of God compare to who you imagine God to be?  In what ways is your picture of God different? 

            This picture of God is just a glimpse of God since we are unable to grasp even a small part of who God is.  This passage also reminds us that while we should study the Bible God must reveal Himself to us and will reveal Himself to the world through us!

            But this passage is not just a revelation of Jesus but also a revelation of who we are supposed to be as Christians. 

“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus”.

God wants to not just appreciate but to emulate having the “mind” of Jesus.  The name of Christian has the literal meaning of ‘little Christ’s’ and is a call to become more like Jesus through God’s guidance and help.

            Who are you seeking to become?  Do you want to have the mind of the world in order to succeed now or do you want the mind of Christ and have an eternal relationship with God?

            Today is a little better but still am very weary.  Went to see Dr. Barker and she said the machine doesn’t seem to be working as much as she hoped.  She will see me in a month to check again. Bonnie and I went out for a lunch date and it was so good.  It has been such a long time since we were able to go.  Jonathan came by for supper and we had a great time together. 

Mark 27, 2018 Tuesday

“After two days it was the Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread. And the chief priests and the scribes sought how they might take Him by trickery and put Him to death. But they said, “Not during the feast, lest there be an uproar of the people.” And being in Bethany at the house of Simon the leper, as He sat at the table, a woman came having an alabaster flask of very costly oil of spikenard. Then she broke the flask and poured it on His head. But there were some who were indignant among themselves, and said, “Why was this fragrant oil wasted? “For it might have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” And they criticized her sharply. But Jesus said, “Let her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a good work for Me. “For you have the poor with you always, and whenever you wish you may do them good; but Me you do not have always. “She has done what she could. She has come beforehand to anoint My body for burial. “Assuredly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her.”” (Mark 14:1-9 NKJV)

            I remember on a tour of the Vatican seeing this large chest that was made of solid gold and decorated with scenes of the life and ministry of Jesus.  When I asked the priest who was guiding us how much the chest was worth he said there was not enough money in the world to purchase it!  I remember thinking that if it were sold it could feed so many people.

            Jesus responds that there will always be those who are poor and that need will only be met when Jesus returns to make all right.  But our primary call is to Love God with all we are and then our neighbor!

            Our love and worship of God is the primary part of who we are Christians.  We can lose our need for worship by getting caught up meeting the needs of those hurting around us not realizing we need to depend on God’s help.

            When we try to meet the needs of the poor without first worshiping God we take on a burden we are not meant to have or are able to take on!  The need, pain and suffering around the world is endless and shouldering that burden without God will only break us and turn us bitter!  With that burden we can come to hate the God we forgot to worship and honor!

            Jesus declares that this act of worship will be remembered whenever and wherever the Gospel is preached!  Our worship and love of God is eternal and gives us a perspective of God and His power that does give us the hope that mountains can be moved!

           

            Still a bad time as the pain seems to be all over rather than just one place.  The weariness is terrible.  Got some cards from some people at First Jeff and from Darby House where we were part of the weekly service.  It is so good to be remembered by God’s people.  As I sit here I marvel at the wonder and blessing that God allowed us to be part of His great work over the years.  What a great adventure we have had and are having!

March 26, 2018 Monday

“The next day a great multitude that had come to the feast, when they heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem, took branches of palm trees and went out to meet Him, and cried out: “Hosanna! ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the LORD!’ The King of Israel!” Then Jesus, when He had found a young donkey, sat on it; as it is written: “Fear not, daughter of Zion; Behold, your King is coming, Sitting on a donkey’s colt.” His disciples did not understand these things at first; but when Jesus was glorified, then they remembered that these things were written about Him and that they had done these things to Him.” (John 12:12-16 NKJV)

            When a king or a president comes to a town there is usually a great amount of pomp and circumstance to honor if not the person than the position.  The leadership of the city will welcome their leader to their city and share a welcome and honor them.

            When Jesus entered Jerusalem no leader came out to honor Him, only the people of the city and the pilgrims.  No leader came to welcome Jesus and the welcome was given by people laying their garments and palm branches before Jesus.

            We are used to Pope Mobiles, bullet proof limo’s and expensive aircraft to carry leaders to or into a city.  But Jesus had to borrow a young donkey to ride into what truly is His city.  The entrance by the King of Kings and Lord of Lord’s was remarkable in its simplicity rather than its pomp.

            When a king enters a city it is a show of power and might as well as an expression of their ability to take a city as well as keep it under their power.  They must both awe and bring fear to the crowd to display their power to keep their power.

            Jesus came into Jerusalem in the totally opposite way and as the scriptures states came to bring hope and not fear!  Jesus declares an eternal and overcoming power which is available to us by faith and love. 

            When you allow Jesus into your heart your King arrives without pomp but with a cleansing love that casts out fear.  The simplicity of God’s entrance into your life is not a sign of weakness but an understanding that God is so powerful there is no need to express it!

            Has your King entered your life?  Have you been still before God so you can experience the presence of God?  Have you given God the key to your life and the Throne of your heart?

            Today is a very rough day.  The pain is bad but God’s grace is enough – and more!

March 25, 2018 Sunday

“Now when they drew near Jerusalem, to Bethphage and Bethany, at the Mount of Olives, He sent two of His disciples; and He said to them, “Go into the village opposite you; and as soon as you have entered it you will find a colt tied, on which no one has sat. Loose it and bring it. “And if anyone says to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ say, ‘The Lord has need of it,’ and immediately he will send it here.” So they went their way, and found the colt tied by the door outside on the street, and they loosed it. But some of those who stood there said to them, “What are you doing, loosing the colt?” And they spoke to them just as Jesus had commanded. So they let them go. Then they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their clothes on it, and He sat on it. And many spread their clothes on the road, and others cut down leafy branches from the trees and spread them on the road. Then those who went before and those who followed cried out, saying: “Hosanna! ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the LORD!’ Blessed is the kingdom of our father David That comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!” And Jesus went into Jerusalem and into the temple. So when He had looked around at all things, as the hour was already late, He went out to Bethany with the twelve.” (Mark 11:1-11 NKJV)

“But Pilate answered them, saying, “Do you want me to release to you the King of the Jews?” For he knew that the chief priests had handed Him over because of envy. But the chief priests stirred up the crowd, so that he should rather release Barabbas to them. Pilate answered and said to them again, “What then do you want me to do with Him whom you call the King of the Jews?” So they cried out again, “Crucify Him!” Then Pilate said to them, “Why, what evil has He done?” But they cried out all the more, “Crucify Him!”” (Mark 15:9-14 NKJV)

            Palm/Passion Sunday seems difficult to many but there really is a natural flow to it.  The Bible teaches that Jesus coming into Jerusalem was an exciting celebration of the Messiah entering Jerusalem while the final exit of Jesus would be to jeering and end in his crucifixion.

            Palm/Passion Sunday is also a reminder of the duplicity of humanity as it is probable that some of the same people who shouted Hosanna on one day would shout crucify Him on another!

            Palm/Passion Sunday is a terrifying reminder of the need for the Passion of Jesus to make us a people of praise rather than a people of death.  God does this by reminding us of the forgiveness offered to those who cry out “Crucify Him!”

            Palm/Passion Sunday is a reminder that it took the best of God to overcome the worst of humanity!  It is a reminder that it took the love of God to overcome the ferocity of humanity!  It is a reminder of what is in the heart of every human being and the power of the sacrifice of Jesus to change us.

            In one Sunday we are forced to see how our best intentions without the love of God turn into nightmares that can destroy nations as well as people.  This Sunday is a reminder of our willingness to destroy someone else rather than look at our own sin!

            In short, Palm/Passion Sunday is a reminder that we need the very God we crucified in our own lives if we are ever to be free from our sin and even ourselves!

            Are you quick to cry out for crucifixion of others while still wanting forgiveness for yourself?  Do you shout Hosanna on Sunday and crucify the rest of the week?  Will you allow the God who you screamed for His death to become your life?

            I was able to go to worship but I was worn out by the effort.  It was a very good service.  Pastor Ashley seems to be doing a good job.  Pastor Lloyd seems to be doing a good job at First Jeff also.  It is so good to see God putting the people and congregations I love into such good hands.  It is interesting that both congregations will have Foot Washing during Holy Week.  When I started I was one of only a few who held Foot Washing.  Rev Alton Smith (Bonnie’s Grandfather) taught me about Foot Washing.

March 24, 2018 Saturday

““Behold, the days are coming, says the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah —  “not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the LORD. “But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the LORD: I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. “No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”” (Jeremiah 31:31-34 NKJV)

            What an amazing picture of God’s plan for a new covenant!  God explains the old covenant with Israel to show the comparison with the new covenant to come.  At least part of the reason for the new covenant is that the people of Israel broke the old covenant. 

            God describes the old covenant in very personal terms as God describes how Israel was led from slavery in Egypt by God’s hand!  God reminds them they broke the old covenant even though God was their husband.  Despite this deep and personal relationship with God Israel in God’s words became a prostitute. 

            So God calls for a new relationship with humanity that will be even more personal through this new covenant.  Once again God seeks to renew the relationship with humanity like there was in the Garden of Eden.

            The new covenant will be very different for while the old covenant was written on stone tablets the new covenant will be written on their minds and hearts!  Those participating in this new covenant will be God’s people and their way of knowing God will change.

            Where before the old covenant the law was written on stone tablets, the new covenant will be written in their minds and hearts.  God will take the covenant with humanity a step further by taking the external and making it internal.  Lest we think this means we do not need to study and learn more is added.

            The new covenant learning will be more guided by God than by human teachers.  Every participant of the new covenant will receive the revelation of God and can really know God.  Some may think this means we do not have to study the Bible or join together to study, but that would be a misreading of this text.  We can all bring what God has revealed to us as we study together.

            The new covenant also provides for not just forgiveness but also assurance!  Those who participate in the new covenant can know that their sins are not only forgiven but that God will remember them no more!

            Are you a participant in the new covenant or are you still trying to earn your way to God on your own terms?  Does your life in Jesus under the new covenant resemble the picture God reveals to us here?

            Today was a tale of two days as some of the time the pain and weariness were less and at other times it was worse.  Jonathan came by and we had lunch together and enjoyed the afternoon.  My mind wanders and it takes me a long time to read a passage from even a light book.  But God still makes scripture something that calms my heart and mind even though often I do not really remember where I have read.

March 23, 2018 Friday

“BETH. How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You! Blessed are You, O LORD! Teach me Your statutes! With my lips I have declared All the judgments of Your mouth. I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies, As much as in all riches. I will meditate on Your precepts, And contemplate Your ways. I will delight myself in Your statutes; I will not forget Your word.” (Psalm 119:9-16 NKJV)

            Psalm 119 is the longest of the Psalms and is represented by the Jewish alphabet for each section.  Here we see this section is for the letter Beth.  Psalm 119 is an exposition of the law and how we should live by it a life that honors God.

            List the words the Psalmist uses for the law just in this small section of this Psalm and then write their definition.  Then list the ways that are suggested on how best to keep God’s law.

            “With my whole heart I have sought You “.  What a statement to make!  Could it be that the Psalmist is teaching that the degree we seek God is the degree we seek to know and live out God’s law?  We are called to seek the God who has sought us and called us back to Him.  Jesus would tell us if we would seek we would find!

            The Psalmist also places a value on the testimonies of God that equals all riches!  Jesus would ask us if we trade the whole world for our soul.  Imagine the value of not just your soul but your body!  In a world that teaches us we are of little value or that we are merely a cog in some giant and horrendous wheel God tells us that we are more valuable than all the riches and then the whole world!

            God’s law is not just something to learn and to live it is also something we MUST proclaim.  Psalm 119 calls for us to not only proclaim but to teach these laws to others.  God’s law must be so important that we must tell others so they can not only discover God but the value and love God has for them.

            Are you seeking for God?  Do you learn God’s law and teach others?  Do you proclaim the truth of God’s law to others?

            Bonnie shared from a book titled Florian’s Gate she is reading which teaches about the importance and meaning of suffering.  Many times we want God to take away suffering or assume that if God doesn’t take away the suffering than the person must have done something wrong.  But suffering helps us grow in appreciation of the suffering of others and experience God’s presence more clearly.  Suffering is not a comparative thing but an individual experience understood and shared only with God.  We may get mad at God for not ‘answering’ our prayers but we need to see that God has answered our prayer not as we want but as we need!  Every suffering you experienced has been experienced by Jesus on the cross!  God does understand! 

March 22, 2018 Thursday

“So also Christ did not glorify Himself to become High Priest, but it was He who said to Him: “You are My Son, Today I have begotten You.” As He also says in another place: “You are a priest forever”; who, in the days of His flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications, with vehement cries and tears to Him who was able to save Him from death, and was heard because of His godly fear, though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered. And having been perfected, He became the author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him, called by God as High Priest “according to the order of Melchizedek,”” (Hebrews 5:5-10 NKJV)

            The world fights for position to be at the top of others.  This struggle leaves ruined lives and broken fellowship.  Often we bear many wounds from this struggle and some are weakened by fear.

            Jesus came to us to heal the ills and sin that devastate humanity and all of creation.  By the life Jesus lived before us is an example of how to live without destruction and His death bearing our sin we can live as we should.

            Jesus died a death that was not His.  Judged by priests even though He is the forever Priest “According to the order of Melchizedek “.  Killed by the people Jesus came to die for.  Cried for and bled for those whom Jesus came to cleanse by His blood.  God “learned” obedience through suffering for those who suffer. 

            The life of Jesus is an example of the life God makes possible for us and is the life that brings joy to us and light to others. 

            Jesus wrote out eternal salvation for all to read but only through obedience can we realize that reading MUST result in living this salvation.

            Jesus, as the only begotten Son of God made a way for us to become children of God ourselves.

            We are taught that to truly be first we must live like the last and true power comes from following the example of Jesus and serving!

            Will you follow this example of living by Jesus or will you continue your fight to the top that only leads to the bottom?  Will you discover the power of serving that changes not only your life but those around you?  Will you ‘read’ the writing of salvation in the life of Jesus?

           

            Today was a hard day and I could say it was a bad day but the Lord has taught me that the hardest day is a good day with Him.  The pain, weakness and loss of my clarity of mind pales as God’s presence renews me!  Got a card from Addison Hodgson again and I so enjoy her and her brother Griffins remembering me.  Addie has requested for us to be pen pals and I so look forward to doing that.

March 21, 2018 Wednesday

“Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me hear joy and gladness, That the bones You have broken may rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins, And blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.” (Psalm 51:7-12 NKJV)

            David’s prayer is so amazing and shows such a familiarity of God’s presence and working in his life.  It seems as though this is a constant process David goes through that is fully expressed in his sin with Bathsheba. 

            Nathan calls David on his sin in a way that causes David to seem the destructive nature of that sin.  Indeed this could be when God broke is bones.

            Hyssop was used for medicinal as well as religious purposes.  It could be used to spray either blood or cleansing water on a congregation as a sign of God’s forgiveness .

            Washing was part of the ritual cleansing of the Jews to come into the presence of God.  The Church would use Baptism.

            The joy and gladness comes from a redeemed heart but it also is a reminder that heaven celebrates when a human being returns to God.

            After sin we need to be re-created as God gives us a new heart and conscience which allows the Holy Spirit to dwell with us!  This is so important that David expresses this as part of being cast from God’s presence.

            David expresses that the result of forgiveness is receiving the joy that comes with salvation and the support and help to like a new life from God.

            Have you felt the pain of your sin and the consequences like this?  Have you thought about the process of sin and forgiveness as David did?  Do you cry out for forgiveness and God’s presence?

            Today was not as bad but still worse than I used to be.  Maybe this is the new norm.  If so than Blessed be the Name of the Lord.  For God’s goodness is always with me.

March 20, 2018 Tuesday

“« To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba. » Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your lovingkindness; According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, Blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight — That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me. Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.” (Psalm 51:1-6 NKJV)

            When I first became a Christian David amazed me and I struggled with him being “a man after God’s own heart” since David was responsible for so many terrible things.  How could he be “a man after God’s own heart”?

            The answer is seen in the rest of this passage as David cries out to God for forgiveness with his whole heart.  David is constantly bothered by his sin and thus is not only confessing but seeking to change who he is.

            David not only sees his sin but even the many different ways he sins.  Take time to list the different words used for sin and then define them and discover the many way we often sin.

            David also shares some of the ways God forgives those who confess their sin.  As with sin forgiveness comes in many different ways as God deals with a multitude of sin and a multitude of sinners. 

            David helps us see the bad side of the Good News because the Good News is only good because we are sinners with no way out of our sin.  David reminds us of original sin which is passed along like a genetic defect. 

            The Good News is a reminder that God is righteous and merciful and we are not able to overcome sin and we must depend on God for forgiveness.  The Good News is also a reminder that all sin is against God as we break His commandments.  The God whom we sin against is the only one who can forgive us and change us!

            Do you see the sin in your own life?  Are you willing to ask God’s forgiveness?  Do you appreciate all God has done for you?

            I got very little sleep again and the weariness was so bad I couldn’t even get up from bed.  Bonnie had to help me get up and it was hard to walk when I did get up.  The muscles in my legs have been tensed so long they are very weary and do not want to work well.  As the pain in my legs decreased a little the pain in so many places increased.  I feel bad for Bonnie and Rebecca who want to help but there really isn’t any way they can.  But God gave me a wonderful time of prayer and watching Matthew on TV helped renew my soul and my strength.

March 19, 2018 Monday

““Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save Me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came to this hour. “Father, glorify Your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, saying, “I have both glorified it and will glorify it again.” Therefore the people who stood by and heard it said that it had thundered. Others said, “An angel has spoken to Him.” Jesus answered and said, “This voice did not come because of Me, but for your sake. “Now is the judgment of this world; now the ruler of this world will be cast out. “And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself.” This He said, signifying by what death He would die.” (John 12:27-33 NKJV)

            I once read a book entitled “Pain, the Gift Nobody Wants”.  Suffering is a part of our everyday life and it is at the heart of the Good News.  By His suffering and death Jesus bore our sin and suffering and gave meaning to our suffering!

            We ask God to save us from our pain and suffering and get angry when God doesn’t “answer” our prayers.  Like patience we want God to give it to us and to give it to us now!

            In this passage and others in the New Testament we may be confused as Jesus teaches us that suffering can be for the Glory of God.  The suffering of Jesus has become the heart of the Christian faith which is why the cross is our symbol to the world.

            The cross reminds us that because the suffering of Jesus carried the meaning of redemption our own suffering can have meaning and glorify God.  God may choose to save us through suffering rather than from it.

            Reading the Bible and studying the history of the Church you will see over and over how God used suffering and loss to change the life of someone and through them to impact many lives through God!  Great hymns of faith, great messages of faith, books that change lives and so many other things come from the press of pain.

            I remember reading once that they believe coal is formed by many dead things pressed down for a long time.  And then the coal through heat and great pressure can become a diamond.  Out of so much death and suffering comes a diamond that can withstand just about anything! 

            But the pain and suffering must flow through the grace and love of God or it will make us bitter rather than better!  Without seeing the meaning of the suffering of Jesus we can get angry at God believing He does not understand what we are going through.

            When you go through suffering and pain do you look to the suffering of Jesus to find meaning?  Are you willing to see your pain and suffering as a “blessing” from God and then be able to glorify God?

(Some may think this is just an academic treatment but this is very personal to me.  I have been on disability for almost a year and had to leave the pastoral ministry where I really felt the presence of God and loved it.  Currently the pain is terrible and increasing.  When we began looking for a diagnosis I asked God to heal me.  As I lay prostrate before the Altar God told me plainly, “I will heal you through this and not from this.”  God also told me my ministry was to grow in this time of suffering.  When a child in my former congregation prayed for me to get well I realized that I was well!  For the God of all loves me and is with me every day in the midst of the suffering.  I can honestly say I am glad for this time of suffering for I have experienced the love and support of God so clearly.)

            I was only able to sleep for about 3 hours last night because of the pain.  The weariness is terrible but I am not sure if it comes from the lack of sleep or the pain.  (Or both!)  Bonnie and I went for a little walk which is the first time in a long while.  She has been sharing with me about her trip to Savage Gardens and it is such a blessing because I get to experience so many things as they share with me.  

March 18, 2018 Sunday

“Now there were certain Greeks among those who came up to worship at the feast. Then they came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida of Galilee, and asked him, saying, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip came and told Andrew, and in turn Andrew and Philip told Jesus. But Jesus answered them, saying, “The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified. “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. “He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. “If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.” (John 12:20-26 NKJV)

            Like most people the Jews had and us and them way of seeing the world.  You were either a Jew or you were a gentile.  A Greek was an even worse form of gentile since it was Greeks who had enslaved Israel until the Maccabean revolt just before the time of Jesus.  Though the Sadducees were a sort of Jewish Greek or some thought they were more Greek Jewish.

            Gentiles who believed in God and sought to grow in their knowledge of God were titled God Fearers.  They were given privileges to be part of certain services and were considered less of an outsider by the Jews.  Sadly a god Fearer couldn’t become a full Jew but their children could.

            These “Greeks” were probably God fearers and also are a reminder of the Wise Men who came to give gifts to honor Jesus as king.  It is interesting that the term used is magi and is the title Daniel was given.

            Jesus has an amazing response to the coming of these Greeks.  You can almost feel the sadness as this sign of what Jesus had to face stood before Him.  For Jesus did not come to offer Himself for just the Jews but for the whole world!  Now as the Greek gentiles came to Him the time was ripe for the death of Jesus to become the seed of life for all people!

            But Jesus reminds us that we also must lay down our lives for God.  We also must give our lives so that others, even our enemies can come to life in Jesus Christ!   We must share to Good News that God fearers can become fully a child of God.

            Are you a God fearer?  Have you gone from a God fearer to become a Christian?  If you are a Christian have you shared this Good News with others?

            The pain grew last night and I was not able to sleep until after 1:30 AM.  Then the hose on my CPAP machine gurgled all night and so I got very little sleep.  I was not able to go to Worship and after more than a week of severe pain I feel terrible.  I listened to the Podcast from First Jeff and I enjoyed Joe Payne’s message for Transfiguration Sunday.     

March 17, 2018 Saturday

“I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the LORD, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.” (Jeremiah 29:14 NKJV)

            Christians will sometimes talk about saving someone and can even think that it is our responsibility for people to be saved.  The burden of trying to do what is God’s job is too much for a person to bear.  If we are not careful the strain can dramatically affect our lives in every way.

            “I will be found by you, says the LORD” May seem to imply it is all on us to come to God.  There is a truth in this because God has already made the way for us through the suffering, death and resurrection of Jesus and so all that is left is for us to “find” God.

            Notice that God has prepared the way for us to “find” Him and all the planning, preparation and cost has been done by and through God.  God has called us by the Holy Spirit or we wouldn’t even consider coming back to God.

            God’s promise is that we will be brought back from captivity.  We will be set free and God will bring us back to where we were before the Fall.  Once again we will be free to walk with God and through studying the Bible and prayer we can grow in our relationship with God.

            Through the suffering and the decision of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane we can be brought back to the Garden where we walked with God!  The suffering of Jesus stands in place of the suffering we deserve and the relationship that the Trinity has is God’s heart desire (John 17).

            Have you “found” God?  Are you growing in your relationship with Jesus?  What does John 17 tell you about the heart of God?

            Saturday is a little better day but the pain comes and goes rather than just stays.  The pain seems to have moved up to the torso but the weariness in my legs makes it hard to walk.  I am very unsure of my legs and am wobbly.  Jonathan came by for lunch and we had a great visit.  He stayed until he and Rebecca went to have supper with Grandmommy.  Was able to read from the Bible some and had a good time of prayer.

March 16, 2018 Friday

“Then they journeyed from Mount Hor by the Way of the Red Sea, to go around the land of Edom; and the soul of the people became very discouraged on the way. And the people spoke against God and against Moses: “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and our soul loathes this worthless bread.” So the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and many of the people of Israel died. Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, “We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD and against you; pray to the LORD that He take away the serpents from us.” So Moses prayed for the people. Then the LORD said to Moses, “Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole; and it shall be that everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, shall live.” So Moses made a bronze serpent, and put it on a pole; and so it was, if a serpent had bitten anyone, when he looked at the bronze serpent, he lived.” (Numbers 21:4-9 NKJV)

            Have you ever complained about what God has given to you?  Many Christians suffer imprisonment, being relegated to being second class citizens, used as slaves, having their children sold as sexual slave and giving their lives for their faith. 

            The Israelites saw many of their family members die as slaves in Egypt.  The male babies were killed by the Egyptians to lessen the Israelites growth in population.  Their lives were filled with suffering and fear.

            Yet now they complained about their diet when they had daily provision of food provided by God.  They thought that returning to slavery was better than the freedom God gave to them as well as the food provided for them. 

            Their ingratitude brought a judgment of fiery serpents.  What are fiery serpents?  Could we be talking about dragons or the bite of the serpents feeling like fire?  Is this a reminder of the Fall where a serpent tempted humanity to be their own God?

            When we turn from God we lose the protection we depend on and are open to natural and supernatural dangers.  We place ourselves under the slavery of sin as we reject the freedom God offers us. 

            God offered them a chance to regain His protection and healing if they would only look at the serpent on the pole.  If we will look at Jesus on the cross we too will be saved from a fiery death to life.

            For Jesus became sin and became the serpent on the cross that overcame the Fall and became the second Adam who this time did not choose sin and thus made life possible for us.  Today the image of the serpent on a pole became the symbol for physicians and for healing.

            Are you looking away from Jesus on the cross or are you looking at Jesus on the cross to receive the healing you need?       

            Today was a little better and I was able to finish the cards to the shut-ins and Bonnie got it in the mail.  I am so weary and though my legs are a little better there is a pain in my side that causes me to get dizzy when it happens.  If I am up it has almost caused me to lose my balance.  But God enabled me to finish the cards and spend some time in prayer.

March 15, 2018 Thursday

“Fools, because of their transgression, And because of their iniquities, were afflicted. Their soul abhorred all manner of food, And they drew near to the gates of death. Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, And He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions. Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men! Let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, And declare His works with rejoicing.” (Psalm 107:17-22 NKJV)

            Does it make you uncomfortable that God uses the word fools to describe those who cut themselves off from God?  But what would you call a drowning person who casts off their lifejacket?

            When all creation was literally drowning in sin and selfishness we cast off God’s hope for life!  Each choice and each day brought us closer to “the gates of death.”

            So God sent His Word and brought healing!  God has provided the written word of God which is the Bible and the Living Word of God who is Jesus!  God provided all we needed for salvation and new life!

            The Psalmist said that God would heal by His Word and the word for Savior means to heal and to make one whole.  God would heal us from sin and deliver us from the death to come.

            Why would God do such a thing?  The Psalmist calls to proclaim God’s goodness, wonderful works and their delivery!  Despite our sin and selfishness God out of His goodness works so we can depend on grace when our own works fall so short.

            Do you read the written word of God and place your faith in the Living Word Jesus?  Do you give thanks for the wonderful hope we have through God’s goodness?

            This is a little better day.  The pain continues and today the weariness is like a great load on me.  It is almost as though the weariness begets weariness.  I did get some things done and spent some time listening to the Bible and praying.  Bonnie took Mom to the doctors again and everything went well.  We daily give thanks to the amazing love and provision of God!