The ghosts are gathering all around

I see them in the corner of my eye

They are only real to me you see

For the ghosts are apart of me

But that does not mean unreal

For their presence is very real

They ask me questions for me

The questions I don’t know

At times I feel more at home

With these ghosts of mine

They are not just of my mind

They are part of my soul

My soul I once gave away

To quiet lifes maddening fray

I will never be a ghost

Because to die you must live

I have just never been

A shadow a veil a mist

If I had stepped over side

Or into engine did reside

If I had took shot and died

I would have never been

Daddy Lord You gave life

But I never lived the gift

Never ever afraid to die - Just afraid I might live.

(After all I have been through I thought I was getting better. Now I find that I am in even worse shape. The past is clawing and the present is screaming. The pain is going back to numbness. I am going back to closing off. I write this in the Chapel at First. It is a place of such hope for me. So often I have come to be with my Love, but now it is a place to hide. But how can you hide from yourself? I don’t know or even care. Just let it all be quiet. Just let it be quiet. Jesus Shepherd holding sheep. Are You holding me?) 11/12/16