Shadows

The shadows came when I was about 19 years old and in Naples Italy with the US Navy. I was serving with the Shore Patrol with two Italian Police officers and the officer next to me was shot in the chest. I did CPR on him and the other officer ran to see who did the shooting. After the ambulance came I followed and discovered a place where children were being raped. Suddenly I remembered being raped as a child and beat a man until I was pulled off. Sitting in the police car I went into the place of shadows. I thought I was a shadow. Even though I left that place behind the shadows still hate me and seek to harm me. But did I really leave that place? Maybe I am still there and all of this is a trick. Maybe the shadows are so strong they have come with me. For so many years the shadows have told me what I am not and I now believe it. Many others say the same words as the shadows.
I hurt so much in so many ways and I am worn down. I see dead people walking around, the kitchen cabinets attacked me and television screen is real.



Before I married I should have dealt with the shadows
Before I became a father I should have dealt with the shadows
Before I became a pastor I should have dealt with the shadows
Failing to deal with the shadows I have become a shadow



There are dark shadows
but
are there light shadows
are there lighter shadows
are all shadows dark

How to get rid of shadows
can
they be gotten rid of
they be controlled
they be suppressed

I have asked so many questions
I have not found an answer
I am so weary and torn
I lost myself in questions



The shadows in my life are my fault
They are here because I am weak
They are here because I let them be
The shadows in my life are my fault

Living in a world of shadows
Shadows dwell around waiting
A time when we are weak
A time when we are strong
A time when we are in need
A time when we have too much

Shadows dwell around waiting
A time to cut off the Light
A time to make us their home
A time to disconnect us
A time to kill our soul
Shadows dwell around waiting

When you nervously think danger is here

Even dogs howl when shadows are near

Shadows bring with them disquiet and fear

Shadows seek to destroy all you hold dear

shadows divide and multiply

Destruction is their strength

All loss is to the shadows gain

Unseen the shadows seed death

the only hope against the shadows is Light

But shadows dwell at the edge of the Light

The hope is to dwell at the heart of the Light

Light and dark we do know

unknown the shadows grow

seed of hell the shadows sow

be fruit of hell before we know

Today I feel death all around me

My friend cut in two by plane smiles

The puzzle man calls out to me

Parts man lets me know it is near

The man I beat almost to death points

The dead cry out to me it is time

They let me know it is coming near

Near than it has ever been before

Others cry out more than ever before

Shocked friend give smell of death

Hose man speaks of coming death

The bodies pile and rise to greet me

“The pain will end and life will begin”

The body dies and corrupts away

Will all my pain also corrupt away

I hear them calling me to be free

I have not lost whats left of mind

I WILL NOT TAKE WHAT IS NOT MINE

I wait my Love to Your good time

But let their voices be still for now

I beg of You my Love please